You can learn how to effectively interact with beautiful women that live in your city through online dating websites.  The average online dating woman will receive 35-100 emails and instant messaging requests a month.  Only 20% of the men contacting her will receive a response indicating an interest at a possible future encounter.  Are you one of the 80% of men that don’t know how to effectively communicate, portray, and entice women online?

Women will spend on average 3-12 hours a week viewing and communicating with men that solicit them through online dating websites.  There are systematic steps you can take to greatly improve your chances of enticing and meeting-up with multiple women every month.

The following are ten steps that can get you a woman from an online dating site right now:

1.    Online dating is a numbers game, the more women you approach the better chance you have of getting an offline date.  However, you want to automate your online dating activities to save you as much time as possible.
2.    Contact unattractive females to increase your confidence, dialogue, and socialization capabilities.
3.    Don’t ask for a telephone number, ask for a screen name, then talk on aol instant messenger, yahoo messenger, MSN, etc…  Once you talk on messenger for a short period, then ask for her telephone number.
4.    Don’t act immature.  Immature means making insulting comments regarding the persons profile, image, or writing.  You need to act 20% immature to effectively be humorous and generate self-doubt in the target.
5.    When asking for a telephone number, it should only be asked for when it appears a part of the natural dialogue of communication.
6.    Don’t just include a photo of your face.  Include action shots (driving a car, water skiing, hiking, snow boarding) and photos that demonstrate higher value (a photo of your fine Italian shoes – should not be an attempt at vanity).  Let the photo do all the talking, don’t boast.
7.    Make your doubt in her profile your attention grabber.  For example, in the subject heading write, “This user might be interested in talking with you.”
8.    A lot of women on dating websites are there for just entertainment.  The more you can entertain them, the better chance you stand of going out on a date with them.  Impressing them with your job, money, car, isn’t going to work.  You need to entertain them!
9.    Don’t show women from online dating sites your MySpace account.  It says you are “dorky” and wired into the internet.  Most women want a man that can walk away from the net on their date.
10.    Meeting up for a coffee might work with some girls.  But if you want to close, go out for appetizers and drinks.  Don’t waste money on a big dinner, instead, find a lounge that offers drinks and appetizers.

I have been doing online dating for 5 years and I know what works and what doesn’t.

Online dating vs. offline dating share similar characteristics and major differences:

Similarities:

1.    First impressions are based on looks
2.    Women are pursued, and men are the pursuers
3.    Humor can help build attraction
4.    The approach counts for 80% of future interaction
5.    It’s hard to maintain a relationship as they require a lot of work

Differences:

1.    The approach can be done in such a way that physical appearances play a much less important initial role
2.    History, interests, and characteristics can be studied before deciding to commit to interaction
3.    Women pursue men just as much as men pursue women
4.    Women are more open to interacting with you because of less peer pressure from friends and social norms don’t come into play
5.    Women on dating websites are there because they want to date! Women in bars and other settings are not necessarily there to date.

Finding love and interacting with the opposite sex is a difficult task.  Practice makes perfect, and most men don’t take the time it requires to master the social dynamic of interacting with women.  If you were devote every working hour to meeting, engaging, and closing women, instead of going to work and conducting business, you wouldn’t need help with dating.  Online dating can be the fast track method to meeting and picking up women you have been looking for.  However, there are differences from meeting women offline vs. online.  I know the five immediate steps you can take to start meeting and taking out women from online-dating websites.  Please fill out the form to the right if you are interested in learning more about how to successfully approach women online.

This afternoon, I took part in a weekly tele-conference with some colleagues, where we quickly turned our conversation and heads toward everyone’s favorite topic: the upcoming Sex and the City movie.

It’s not just limited to the this group. Everyone, everywhere is obsessed. Last night, I went to a Yelp party, it was all we chatted about. Later, over sushi, the conversation continued. Friends are planning viewing parties and marathon nights of Magnolia and cosmos.

The culture of SATC though is something that reaches far beyond a film or a bag trend…we can’t ignore how the show has pretty much redefined dating as we know it. (Well, I especially can’t ignore, I am a sex editor, after all.)

The romantic collaborations and interventions that unfolded as the four Sex and the City gals hashed out their love lives over cosmos and brunch gave way to a new approach to dating for single women everywhere.

As this cultural milestone jumps from the small screen to the silver screen (movie premieres: May 30), we have to look back on how the show, and now the movie, I’m sure, changed the lexicon of love and dating.

“Sex and the City,” along with the introduction of dating reality shows like ABC’s “The Bachelor,” socialized dating. Suddenly everyone was talking about the dating choices others make, and learning vicariously through them. Was it OK to break up via post-it note? How young of a man can a somewhat older woman get away with dating? Who was really right for someone, and by what criteria? Dating choices became mainstream conversations in the workplace, at dinner parties and even among family members. Believe it or not, the word wasn’t always like that! This show didn’t just change how we dress and what we drink at bars, but how we live.

Interestingly, the Sex and the City social phenomena gave way to different types of online dating, as well. For instance, social dating communities exist where singles invite their friends to help them make romantic connections. They do this through dating suggestions, voting on possible dates, post-date debriefing and setting up introductions for each other. Also, coupled friends socialize among the singles, to match up their friends, who are looking for love. The idea of “social dating” is a much more “Sex and the City” approach, compared to traditional online dating, which is decidedly not social.

Something to think about as you embark on your weeks of SATC countdown: This is more than a movie premiere. It’s a culmination of the institution that changed everything.

How brave new world is this?

Apparently, there is a new entrant to the online dating scene - IntelligentPeople.com is a new online dating and networking community that gives intelligent people an opportunity to meet and form relationships, regardless of location, education and social status.

Note, the site gets to decide who they feel is intelligent!

Membership is intended for people with an IQ app. in the top 15% of the population. In comparison, you must have an IQ in the top 2% of the population to become a member of Mensa. People with an IQ in the top 15%, are said to be “highly intelligent”.

The concept behind this is highly intelligent people communicate and interact best with other intelligent people. IntelligentPeople.com was created on the basis of that fact. I’m not sure how I feel about this - it’s clearly a form of prejudice. What do you all think?

How do I become a member?
To become a member of IntelligentPeople.com, you will have to pass our IQ test required for admission. You may take the IQ test by pressing the join link at the front page. At the sign-up page, you must enter your name and email address. Following sign up, you will automatically receive an activation code in your inbox, and be able to start the IQ test. Please note that you can only sign up to take the test twice and only use each activation code once. This ensures that only people, who actually can pass the IQ test, become members of IntelligentPeople.com.

Summertime is historically mating season, and a lot of women are out to meet “the one”.

Yahoo! Personals and TheKnot.com recently conducted a survey of more than 9,500 U.S. women to find out about how they met “the one.” They polled them on everything from how similar they were to their mate in some fundamental areas (turns out to be very similar!) to the kinds of things that matter most (closeness to family came in first; income last).

They also analyzed responses based on whether people met their mate online vs. offline and saw an interesting trend emerge. The online daters reached “relationship milestones” much more quickly than those who met offline!

Finding “The One” – Perception vs. Reality

- When asked, how did you meet your significant other, the most frequent response was “through friends,” followed by “school,” “work” or “an online dating site.” Among the least cited responses were “at a bar” or “at church.”

- When asked how you expected to meet your significant other, responses varied from the reality, with the largest majority of respondents saying they expected to meet through a “casual encounter.”

Do Opposites Attract?

- When asked, how similar they were to their significant other in some fundamental areas, respondents overwhelming said they were similar in all but one area – their profession. The following percentages represent those who said they were “very similar” or “similar” with their significant other in each of the categories.

o Religion – 84%

o Politics – 85%

o Age – 89%

o Income – 70%

o Ethnicity – 87%

o Profession – 38%

o Work/life habit – 83%

o Social life – 90%

o Family orientation/closeness – 85%

What Matters Most

- When asked, which of the following characteristics was most important when searching for your significant other, respondents ranked “family orientation/ closeness” as the most important and “income” as the least important. The following percentages represent how respondents ranked each characteristic in order of importance.

o Family orientation/closeness – 44%

o Religion – 17%

o Social life – 16%

o Work life habit – 11%

o Age – 5%

o Ethnicity – 3%

o Profession – 2%

o Politics – 1%

o Income – 1%

Relationship Stages – Meeting Online vs. Offline

- When comparing respondents who met online with the ones who met their significant other offline, an interesting trend emerged. The online daters reached “relationship milestones” more quickly than those who met offline.

o Initial Dating – Online daters began dating more quickly than offline daters, with 77% saying they started dating within the first four weeks of meeting each other, compared to 50% of offline daters.

o Feeling Chemistry – More than half (55%) of all respondents said they felt chemistry with their significant other in the first two weeks. But, 30% of those who met offline said it took between “six months” and “two or more years” to feel chemistry, compared with only 5% of online daters, who were more likely to feel chemistry earlier on.

o Understanding Interests – Online daters (60%) said they had a better understanding of their significant other in the first four weeks of dating than offline daters (41%).

o Getting Exclusive – Online daters got exclusive more quickly than offline daters – 80% compared with 56% in the first three months, or 52% vs. 32% in the first month, respectively.

o Getting Family “Buy-In” – 45% of online daters got “buy-in” within three months of dating; whereas only 31% of offline daters did.

o Engagement – Online daters got engaged more quickly – more than two-thirds (70%) of online daters were engaged in less than two years, whereas more than half (55%) of offline daters got engaged after more than two years.

o Marriage – Online daters married more quickly – 38% were married within two years of engagement, while 62% of offline daters married after more than two years of being engaged.

Do You Believe in Magic?

- Love at First Sight – Two-thirds (64%) of all respondents said they didn’t experience love at first sight, with only one-third (36%) saying they were hit with Cupid’s arrow.

- Leaving it to Fate – An overwhelming 78% of people said they felt like they were fated for their significant other; 22% said it was just “pure chance.”

- First Kiss – Slightly more than half (54%) said they kissed on their first date.

- Separate Quarters? – A majority of respondents (70%) said they will live with their significant other before getting married.

One of my best friends is in the bridal party of an old friend’s out-of-town wedding this weekend. Sad at the prospect of going to this event unattached, she devoted the last few months to dedicated and thorough online personals browsing, in search of who may one day become her other half.

Well, as she boarded the bus Friday to said-nuptials, her only date was destructive rain and an overpriced gown. (Not an ideal combination.)

I asked Gail Laguna, spokesperson and online dating expert for Spark Networks (JDate.com, AmericanSingles.com, HurryDate.com, ChristianMingle.com, and BlackSingles.com) for some tips on how my gal pal may avoid such a hair-frizzing fate in the future. For all of you online-love-seekers, it’s advice you may want to take note of.

1. Post recent photos. If your photos are more than a year old, they are TOO OLD. With a nice, clear close up and a smile, you’ll ensure the person they meet is the person they saw in your pictures.

2. Make your user name pop. Avoid the question: “What’s with your username?” It doesn’t have to be brilliant, but it should signify some expressive detail about what makes you YOU. Examples: TennisTime, Luv2cook, SalsaDancer.

3. Don’t sell yourself short. You don’t have to summarize your life in one cliché sentence. “I am passionate about music, movies and walks on the beach,” is too generic. The first line of your “About Me” section should be interest-grabbing and unique to YOU.

4. Offer some encouragement. Often Mr. or Ms. Right just needs a little nudge in the right direction. End your essay with an invitation to contact you. The key is to come off approachable, or else your potential matches will be intimidated.

5. Avoid negatives in your profile. Nobody likes a bitter baggage Betty! Keep your profile positive and upbeat to avoid looking like damaged goods.

6. Follow your leads. Go to your inbox and reopen all of your email, E-cards and Flirts, and reconnect with those people that even connected with you only once.

7. Get personal. Send a personalized note to that person who caught your eye to show you really read their profile. It’s so much easier than walking up to a stranger in a bar!

8. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Fact: there are fabulous people with lame profiles and less-than-perfect pictures. By staying open-minded, you will be able to give potential matches the benefit of the doubt. When in doubt, weigh the pros and cons. You don’t want to pass over a diamond in the rough!

9. Cut to the chase, instant message. Connect with someone in real time. Check your hotlist and see who is online or go to the chat room and join the party.

10. Be proactive. Just like a work-out schedule, set aside 20-40 minutes a day to answer emails, fix up your profile, and send emails and E-cards. If you think there’s no time, keep in mind that you would dedicate at least 20-30 minutes a day to a significant other…so carve out that time now!

As for my friend, I still have high hopes for her. Everyone knows the best place to hook up is a wedding!

I think the Internet has created a new type of relationship, on every level.

For instance, last Fall, I attended two Halloween events populated by great masses of my near and dear. Upon return home, my first act was uploading my digital photos, creating an online album for them on MySpace and Facebook, and then sharing the link in my iChat status menu.

Later that night, I fiddled with creating a video montage of said photos on One True Media while my camera sat nestled beside me, charging up to be on the ready for whatever fun and events pop up the next week.

As a writer/blogger by trade, I am very married to cyber culture. I exist in a universe where I seldom call even those I love the most, and instead engage in epic IMs, emails, and text messages. Some of my most meaningful relationships over the last decade have been cultivated with IM chats and email threads.

Once upon a time, such an existence would be considered anti-social, but the cyber medium is the new popular society. And while this may change the landscape of privacy, it doesn’t change our right to have it, or expect it.

I read recently that people have been known to Google perspective dates before investing any further time into them. Rumor has it potential employers do this as well, by the way. Is this any different than asking around for info on someone of interest? Perhaps it’s just more efficient. We can now do a search and find out if someone has any embarrassing YouTube videos, any salicious social network platforms, or perhaps even if they are not who they say they are.

Of course, they can find out that about you, as well.

I think that the existence of the information superhighway can, indeed, change relationships - especially i you have something to hide. But it can also add a whole new dimension of fun to them. Does your mate travel a lot for business? If you have a web cam and a fun imagination, there’s limitless possibilities that await, no matter how many miles are between you. And with IMing, Internet Phone, digital photos, and email, long-distance relationships become increasingly easier (and less expensive!) to cope with.

I have a friend who has a fiance who lives in the Midwest, she works and lives in New York City. They GChat daily — it’s even how they are planning their wedding! And I’m sure most of you reading know stories of couples who found love on Internet dating sites - something that, too, evolved out of the use of technology to capture our lives.

The Internet may be changing our relationships, but it’s also creating a whole new realm possible for them. And whether you are a mom using email to keep in touch with your kids or a single playing online for needs ranging from eBay to cyber-Scrabble, it’s the next-generation of happy hour socials and intimate coffee chats - no dress-up required.

As I sat astride my window seat at my favorite coffee house, I watched as a hipster couple sat on the bench outside. Sharing a gourd of Yerba Mate and donning skinny jeans with indie rock t-shirts, they sported matching fuchsia highlights and openly cuddled.

Across the way, nestled on a Tea Lounge couch, was a girl sitting herself. A few minutes passed, and a man enters, they hug awkwardly and sit, beginning to make small talk. As I (accidentally) listen in on their conversation, I realize I am a fly on the wall for *a first date*!

And then I hear the best words of all, “So, how’s JDate working out for you?” Holy grail, my friends: I got to be in on the in-person meeting of two JDaters. I have an old friend obsessed with this site, adding to the possible-comedy of this moment, and so I just had to IM her. She immediately demanded a total physical description of said man, any info I could get on his age/career, and if possible, a name and approximate neighborhood of dwelling. I swear, I could hear her fingers rushing across the keys, throwing herself in to the JDate search engine, as we chatted.

This friend of mine is somewhat obsessed with finding the perfect Jewish boy (preferably with real estate and a six-figure salary) to meet, marry, and mate with - ideally before she turns 30. As she just turned 29, the matter has become one of some urgency, and now her driving force in life - before career, friendship, or even shopping - is to get her man asap. Consequently, many of our recent conversations have gone something like this:

Friend: Aly, oh my god, where have you been?

Me: Right here…?

Friend: I haven’t talked to you in ages! We absolutely must go out and catch up.

Me: OK! Sure.

Friend: I have the perfect plan. There’s a Purim extravaganza this Sunday night at a mansion in Harlem. It’s only $40 a person!

Me: Um…I think I’ll pass.

Friend: Well, there’s another one this Wednesday. You have to go to one of them.

Me: What do you get for the $40?

Friend: Uh…entry?

I pass, and friend who desperately missed me five minutes ago then closes out our G-chat. Apparently, our experience at last year’s Chanukah party by this organization was not enough to dissuade her (we paid $30 each to enjoy a buffet of soggy latkas. We then were so hungry, we had to go out for sushi. Interestingly, it wasn’t kosher.).

I think that such ridiculous demands and requirements upon ourselves - must marry by 30, meet a Jewish guy (or whatever), have 2.5 kids and a dog by 32, just sets ourselves up for disappointment - and desperation. And what happens? You end up on an IRT train to Harlem on a Sunday night wearing your Purim masque, cash in hand - knowing ultimately you’ll be just as disappointed as you were with every other lame party. (And she is. She leaves every such event in bitter tears, swearing them off forevermore. Until the next one.)

As for the pair in the Tea Lounge, sadly the coffee date did not go well for them. After about 40 minutes of lapses in conversation and nervous laughter, they went their separate ways…and probably back to update their perspective JDate profiles.

All to be that fuchsia-highlighted couple on the front bench.