Not too long ago, I did a piece for SheKnows on the power of pheromones and other physical/chemical attractants in the mating game.

We probably all grew up with dads who had a Playboy stash, or moms who would giggle over television hunks. (Desperate Housewives was coined for a reason!) And we all remember the episode of Friends that called upon the The List of Five — the concept being you’re entitled to come up with a list of five celebrities who, in the unlikely event you were ever able to hook up with them, you would be forgiven (by your significant other) for said hook up.

These threads all come from different fabrics, but they are related to the concept of attraction and fantasy - and I think that’s just fine. Fantasies add excitement to what can be a pretty doldrum routine, and as long as never acted on, are harmless. In fact, I will go as far as to say they are beneficial.

If you have been in a relationship for several years, things while sweet and fun may start to feel a little routine. But when you start developing a crush on someone else, you are instantly reminded of your own sensuality. You have hotter dreams, you get those sudden tingly feelings of anticipation that you know you won’t follow through on, and that makes then even the more naughty and exciting. You know you don’t actually want to be with this person for real. But isn’t it still fun?

Crushes can spice up your fantasy life, which can be just the fuel your relationship needs to get hot (or hotter). Plus, a little window into your own sexiness may make you feel more confident with your mate - which will bode well for your relationship. You’ll smile more, you’ll steam up faster - and as long as it stays an innocent mental exercise and never enters reality - may just be a dose of healthy fuel.

As for “the list” - the list of five freebies - cheating loopholes, if you will - I wonder how many of us actually have such a concept jotted down - and who would actually follow through with it?