This warms my heart.

Even with all of us riddled with insomnia over a widespread recession, a nationwide love and money survey by TRUE.com, the leading scientifically based online relationship service, shows that singles choose love over money even in tough economic times.

The results:

– 95 percent of men and 87 percent of women agree that it does not
matter if you make more money than the person you are dating;
– 49 percent of men and 36 percent of women stated they would not curb
their dating spending in a tight economy;
– 87 percent of men and 80 percent of women responded they would stay in
a relationship where their partner had substantial credit card debt or
had filed for bankruptcy;
– 67 percent of women and 66 percent of men claim they have never kept
financial secrets from someone they are dating;
– 64 percent of men and 63 percent of women don’t tend to argue with
their partner about money.

Of course, it’s possible 80% of these people are not telling the truth. But still, it makes me feel good to read!

TRUE.com’s love and money survey also found the following:
– Dating or Bust, We Aren’t Scared of a Recession. In good times and in bad, daters will continue their search for love. After the No. 1 response of not halting their dating spending (see above), 20 percent of women and 23 percent of men said they plan to spend less on eating out and focus more on romantic dinner dates at home. Only 2 percent of men and 1 percent of women stated that higher gas prices will affect when, where, and how they date.
– Don’t Worry, Be Happy, We Have Money. Of those surveyed, 73 percent of men and 68 percent of women feel secure in their current financial
situation. The majority of respondents, both female and male, described themselves as the following when it comes to their finances: comfortable (women 46 percent, men 52 percent), confident (women 15 percent, men 19 percent), proud (women and men both 7 percent). Only 23 percent of men and 32 percent of women characterized their present financial environment as negative, choosing from terms such as embarrassment, fright or horror to describe their finances.
– Let’s Talk About Sex — or Money. When respondents were asked what
topics couples should talk more about (including money, sex, marriage,
parenting or nothing), results show that men and women definitely have
different priorities when it comes to discussing sex or money. Men
rated: sex No. 1 at 29 percent, followed by nothing at 22 percent,
with money in third place at 21 percent. Women put money talk in the
top spot at 33 percent followed by: nothing at 29 percent, marriage
at 16 percent and sex ranking fourth at 15 percent.
– Donna Summer Knows How People Feel About Money. Because individuals love music almost as much as they love money, respondents were asked to choose which song best represents how they feel about money. An
overwhelming majority (81 percent of women and 50 percent of men)
chose the Donna Summer’s 1970s disco classic “She Works Hard for the
Money.” It also appears that more men (5 percent) than women
(2 percent) associate with Kanye West’s song “Gold Digger,” and are
looking for women to take care of their financial needs. Other
responses include:
– “Money (That’s What I Want)” sung by The Beatles (men 22 percent,
women 3 percent)
– “Bill, Bills, Bills” sung by Destiny’s Child (men 10 percent,
women 8 percent)
– “Material Girl” sung by Madonna (men 5 percent, women 4 percent)
– “It’s All About the Benjamins” sung by P. Diddy (men 9 percent,
women 2 percent)

– Women Will Stand By Their Man, But You Better Treat Them Right. Less than 1 percent of women felt they should pay for the first date, while 78 percent of men believe it was their duty to pick up the tab. Good
news for men hoping to keep more money in their wallet: 25 percent of
women polled found splitting the bill was appropriate, and 22 percent
of women thought that whoever did the asking out should take care of
the check.
– No Substitute for Good Old-Fashioned Hard Work. One-third of men and women responded they have worked a second job to get out of debt.
After a second job, singles responded they accepted money from family
and friends (women 22 percent, men 16 percent) or cashed in their
investments (women 16 percent, men 19 percent) to get back in the
black.

Whether it’s birthdays or anniversaries or Christmas, gift-giving (do’s and don’ts) is a big part of a happy relationship.

What is the best gift you ever got from a romantic partner? What is the *worst* gift you’ve ever gotten?

Whether it’s signing a card “love always” and receiving one that says “from”, or giving something personal and heartfelt and receiving pruning shears (when you lack a garden), a gift’s significance can play a big role in your relationship’s significance.

Shallow much? Not really. It’s not a question of a gift’s monetary value, or even what the object is - but it permeates understanding of each other on a level that should exist within a relationship.

Last year, a good friend was dating her current boyfriend for just over a month when he got her a wii. She was overwhelmed. It was soon for that sort of gift - but at the same time, it showed that she was significant. She, thinking he was a new guy, and not wanting to scare him away had gotten him something small and impersonal. Again, gift significance.

It’s not necessary to spend a lot or buy a lot or receive a lot - but pay attention to what you get, and how it’s presented. It can say a lot about where your future may be headed.

A lot of relationship strife, whether you are together a month or 10 years, is about money. And a lot of it comes down to….who brings home that bacon. (er…apologies to non-carnivores)

The truth is, as the world evolves, relationships do. While 100 years ago, it may have been unheard of for a woman to earn more than ‘her man’, it is now a very real possibility. However, with this adjustment to the status quo becomes age-old stereotypes. Men are the breadwinners, the dominant force, they bring the bacon.

Whatever. My kind of man prefers not to eat bacon and is completely OK with ‘his woman’ earning it all the same.

Last year for my birthday, a close friend of mine gave me a Deepak Chopra work in order to introduce me to his teachings and philosophies. Since then, I’ve learned a lot, including the following quote attributed to him:

“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up.”

The need to earn more, be “better”, and have control are just that — ego. And while an idea of self and self-importance is important, ego has no place in an equal relationship. Neither does attention to who has the better gig or paycheck. Contribute as equals, be equals, and the relationship can survive. Care that Sam makes more than Sally (or Sally more than Sam), and you are probably doomed anyway.